Torch Bistro: Beauty’s Only Skin Deep
Article by Chris Fellini with photography by Joshua Fitzwater
Before there was Smartmouth, before The Birch, before Chelsea Bakehouse, hell, before this area of West Ghent was renamed Chelsea, there was Cruzer’s. Cruzer’s was the original karaoke bar. In a dimly lit room with no real windows to the outside, many a Ghentite drunkenly belted out tunes at this Norfolk landmark, complete with a video screen playing tacky scenes that never seemed to fit the songs. For all it’s grime and general look of disrepair, Cruzer’s was a beloved spot in the neighborhood. Cruzer’s was the little bar that could, until it couldn’t.
After some time of financial hardships, Cruzer’s sang their final tune late last year. The space didn’t sit long, though. Last Friday, Torch Bistro opened their doors in a newly renovated space with lots of added features. Playing off the steampunk mural on one of the walls and the gears and cogs in their logo, the inside is decked out in industrial charm. The bar stools are fashioned out of iron piping and rough wood. The bar is wrapped with sheet metal. There’s the ubiquitous Edison bulbs. Torch just looks cool on the inside. They also expanded into the lot next to the building. Through a garage door the owners installed, you enter the patio area. Several tables made out of more iron piping are positioned on either side of the path towards a fire pit. This ain’t the kind of fire pit your buddy throws together in his backyard for those cool October days. No, this baby’s running gas and lined with stone. Just beyond the fire pit is a green space with four sets of cornhole. The cornhole boards are the first sign that all is not what it seems, though.
Owned by the same guys behind Scotty Quixx, Torch kind of feels like a bro bar wearing a faux vintage shirt to prove that it’s quirky and edgy. Look a little closer, and notice the Red Bull “slushees” (sic). Pour over the drink list for a minute. I’m not going to argue over the $2 PBR tallboys or the pretty decent selection of craft beers that do a good job of running the style spectrum. It does seem odd to me, though, that most of the beer available here is in bottles. With neighbors such as The Birch and Smartmouth, you’d think there would be a few more tap handles than the half dozen or so. The cocktails threw me off a bit, too. With such attention paid to giving this place a mid-century-modern-meets-90s-industrial vibe, you’d think there would be more attention given to classic drinks. Many of the cocktails on the menu feel very early 2000s, with names like The Prick, The Graham, and The Orapax, and the heavy reliance on juices and sweet mixes makes me feel like the bartenders are more interested in getting people “white girl wasted” and less interested in crafting good drinks. Torch may certainly look a lot sharper than Scotty Quixx, but the drinks alone have me feeling like this place hasn’t matured much from it’s brodacious older brother.
The menu is short, which is to be expected of a place that hasn’t even been open a full week. There are three starters for now: a teriyaki tuna dish, Torch’s spin on panzanella, and a bastardized antipasto platter that has been stuffed into a puff pastry and called the Italian Roller. Since spring and summer are upon us, I go with the panzanella. Traditional panzanella consists mainly of soaked stale bread and tomatoes, sometimes with basil, onions, and mozzarella added. At Torch, they substitute the bread chunks for triangles of what the menu refers to as naan. The bread, although certainly not traditional naan, is decent but tastes like the kind of prepackaged stuff Sysco tries to peddle onto restaurants. The dish itself isn’t bad, but the spinach did seem to be a bit much. All in all, the dish is fairly unremarkable although not displeasing.
The rest of the menu is broken down into sandwiches and entrees. The big thing that stands out with the sandwiches is they all seem to be overcompensating. The Torch Burger comes with jalapenos AND ghost pepper jack cheese AND a fire sauce. The Stacker is just a Club, but they grill the turkey and add salami to the mix. The Sesame Ginger Chicken pairs the sesame ginger with a sriracha ranch, as if the chef just figured that since ginger and sriracha are both Asian flavors it’s gotta go together. The one thing that does deserve a pat on the back is the fact that Torch features not just one but two vegan options: a veggie burger with hummus and an avocado and cucumber wrap. The entrees, all three of them for now, are extremely basic. The pesto shrimp and four cheese chicken alfredo seem lifted off an old Olive Garden menu. The one entree that seems to hold some promise is the blackened salmon. Besides blackening the fish, which always imparts a much more intense flavor, they pair it with a mango chimichurri sauce. Unfortunately, they also pair it with rice and a boring mix of zucchini, peppers, and potatoes. The biggest thing that stands out to me with the menu is the lack of creativity. It feels like they’re not even trying to do anything interesting, and right when they start to they get nervous and back down. Many of the dishes just feel incomplete or too over the top.
I decide to go with the sesame ginger chicken, partly because I’m curious how ghastly of a combination this will be. The sandwich comes out on a buttered bun, with a side of house cut fries. The fries are thick and pretty tasty, but could use a touch more salt. I bite into my sandwich and the first thing I notice is how tough the chicken is. I also notice a complete lack in any of the very strong flavors that are supposed to be represented. In all honesty, there’s a slightly sour taste that might be the ranch but just comes off as unpleasant. On the very back end of the bite, a touch of heat from the sriracha grazes my tongue. At least the bun and fries are good. As I’m wrapping up, one of the owners who’s been making the rounds comes over to chat briefly. Chris Johnson stays long enough to tell me that they plan on rolling out Saturday and Sunday brunch this weekend. Good on them for making it a two day affair, but let’s hope whatever they’re offering can compete with the Bloody Mary bar at Tortilla West across the street, and they leave chicken off the menu.
The thing that’s so disappointing about Torch is that they took the time to make it look like such a cool spot, but then completely dropped the ball on the food and drinks. They’ll maintain off the spillover crowd from Smartmouth and the people who just can’t bring themselves to spend $14 on one beer at Birch. Hell, they might even get a rush of folks on Mondays and Tuesdays who don’t feel like waiting for a table at Tortilla West for the tacos. Without updating the menu from basic bar food, though, I can’t see this place becoming a destination spot. At least not with the kind of people who are going to appreciate the Edison bulbs and iron pipe bar stools.
Torch is located at 601 Orapax St. Norfolk, VA
Torch’s facebook page www.facebook.com/601orapax
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